Stress, Stress, and MORE Stress

Oh my goodness, these last few weeks of the semester are happening so quickly, and I feel like I can't keep up. I feel like I don't have enough time to do all the things that are left to do this semester. There are so many exams and papers and projects that I still have to do, and I don't even want to begin on the presentations, the bane of my existence. But not only am I stressing about all the schoolwork, I also have a roach problem in my apartment :( *so gross*. I mean I had only seen nymphs for a couple days, until yesterday, when I saw the most disgusting, behemoth of a roach in my bathroom. OH MY GOD. It was the most traumatizing thing!!! I couldn't use my bathroom for like two hours after seeing it, ughhhhh. I mean it was dying, because the exterminator came and sprayed his spray, but it was so big, and it was just twitching there on the floor *shivers*. UGH. So, now I have to deal with that problem AND school work AND now I'm putting in a request for transfer to a different unit in the apartment complex because of the roaches and the noise and lack of privacy. (so many problems). I thought this place was amazing until after the first week and the roaches and the noise... -_- And all this stress has really negatively impacted me. I missed another week at crossfit and it's been making me feel really bad about myself. I have so much worries about doing well in school, that I convince myself that I need the time I would spend at crossfit, is needed to study. But, when it comes down to it I never actually am productive with my time :/ I usually will procrastinate by watching television, or cooking, or cleaning, or unpacking. And I tell myself that these are productive things, but going to crossfit would also have been productive as well. And I really do miss going because it is such a great workout and it makes me feel like I've accomplished something and gives me a boost of confidence. *sighs*

On a, not that much, lighter note, this past Sunday, I finally went back to church, after weeks of going home for the weekend and flag football games, and the sermon was about depression, go figure. When the guest speaker got up there and announced that the sermon was about depression, I was just like, damn, that hits me hard. I guess it was God trying to tell me that there's a way out of it, that it's not going to be just an endless black hole of hopelessness and perpetual sadness, and I guess I have made strides to get better, but I don't know. Honestly, I feel like in the past couple of weeks, I've been falling back into deeper depression, and I don't know if it's because it gets darker sooner or if it's because I've become complacent about missing so many of my classes. I'm not sure. But I think the things to look forward to are THANKSGIVING, good food, decent amount of time away from school and roaches, and the end of the semester, and getting to start fresh again next semester.