This past week was so tiring. I just felt so exhausted everyday. Exams, papers, reading responses, and more papers. It felt like school was just dropping a ton of work on me. Not to mention being too mentally tired to get the energy to go to crossfit. I only got to go once last week and this week isn't looking so great either. I just had another exam, which I just want to forget about now, and now I have a paper to write and another exam to study for. (*sighs*)
Even though the past week was rough the weekend was a nice break from it all and getting to spend time with my friends from Bryn Mawr was so great. It was my best friend's birthday on Saturday, so a couple of our friends went over to her place Saturday afternoon to go apple picking and then to bake with the apples we picked. It was so great to get time to see my best friends and just enjoy each other's company. We went to Delaware to go apple picking, and the weather was pretty nice, nice and crisp: perfect fall weather. The orchard was packed with people, but we still got some good apples, and we got some cider donuts too (they were so great, yummmm). We got back to her place and spent the next couple hours just talking and baking and having fun. It was such a good day amidst the weeks of exhaustion and constant work.
Sunday was pretty good too. I play flag football in our church league and it was the playoffs and our team won in overtime! I was so happy!!! It was such a close game and it was stressful to be that close, but we won and it's so exciting to be going to the championship round for the 5th year!!!! If we win again this year it'll be our third year in a row winning the title!!! I love playing flag football, it fills that void of sports in my life. I miss playing a sport so much and flag football is such a great way to fill that void and since it is a church league it's so great to make new relationships with people who love God so much and can display that love to others. One of the women, in the city parishes, is such a great example of someone who loves God and is always displaying that love. She is so encouraging and she really cares so much and I love getting to see her every Sunday during the flag football season.
Even with the great weekend, today was a rough start to the week. I had one of the toughest exams of the semester, I got little sleep, I got a bought of GI problems during the weekend (that I'm still reeling from), and I missed crossfit yet again. It seems like life just keeps knocking me down every time I pick myself up a little. When I start to feel a little bit better, a little more comfortable, I start falling back, losing sleep, getting anxious, feeling sad, hopeless, and just kicking myself for believing that my life was taking a turn for the better. I don't know. I guess one thing that'll keep me going this week is the prospect of moving off campus to my own studio apartment. I am literally so excited and CANNOT even!!! I cannot wait to get off campus and have my own place. I can cook, have my own bathroom, my own SPACE, a fish tank! I am so excited to get to have somewhere I can go and feel at peace and feel safe. Somewhere I can be free from anxieties and just unwind.
The last thing I'll say today is my friend's favorite bible verse:
2 Corinthians 9-10
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I am so glad that I have friends who can encourage me and meet me where I am, and empathize with me. My closest friends all have suffered from depression and they're seeing a counselor too and I am so fortunate to have a group of friends who can understand what it is like to struggle, not just with faith but with life. Feeling the crushing pressure of wanting to be perfect, being crippled by anxieties, and feeling alone and hopeless. This verse is something that has helped me get through the tough times before and I'm hoping that it can help me again during this season of learning to be a student again and trying to find my faith and manage my mental and physical health.
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